Something has to be done about bullying and ragging. thanks for sharing this article.. i think if school/colleges and families work together it can be achieved. Wish you love, peace and happiness. Trisha

Thanks to everyone for your comments. To the Devil's Advocate, Word Bandit, I appreciate the thought and energy that you put into your response. I can see that this is an emotionally charged situation, and we all can let our emotions guide our reactions and responses to things we read, and you made very valid points, although there was a bit of an edge to them. I think one of the issues that we experience is that we react to situations based on our emotions, and I feel that you saw me as a bully, in some form, and incorporated some of the same techniques discussed in the article to do some bullying in return. What we have to realize is that we all have been the victim, the rescuer and the persecutor in our lives, and the sooner that we realize why we do what we do, the less likely we are to get hooked. When someone feels victimized first, they often become what I call, the Justified Persecutor, meaning that because they felt someone started it, they believe that they are entitled to end it. I feel your anger and resentment in your response, as well as your hurt. While I did not cause this pain, I accept that I may have evoked some pain from your past and present. Anger, Rage, Arrogance, Flippancy, Defiance, Sarcasm, and Hatred are ALWAYS protective emotions, and they always protect emotions that feel weak. You are correct IMHO with some of your observations into our culture about men and women and bullying, and I appreciate those insights. The issue is that we can adopt the same games that they play or we can see another way out and model what we want to receive. No one can take our power unless we give it to them. Please understand that I hope to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem in this lifetime. Did I get hooked by your response? Absolutely. And I feel I owe it to both of us to take the time to respond. You and I are not so very different. Just as you feel that women (and yourself) were misrepresented, I feel the same about my views and myself. I welcome the debate, and thank the universe for this opportunity, because I had so much more to say than the words in the article. Am I am man? Yes, but you do not know me. You don't know my background, and you don't know what I have advocated for/against... I do realize that anything that goes out there with my name on it has to stand on its own, and that may be the only snapshot that person has of me. I take that responsibility on. I would welcome you to read my books, blogs about Dora and Barbie and Where Does Your Pretty Come From http://blogs.thecutekid.com/doctor-e-child-psychologist/ and numerous articles that advocate for self empowerment for all. I would love for you to have read my research on Body Image that looked at men and women and cultural stereotypes that lead to our dysfunctional attitudes about our bodies. I would love for you to be able to talk to the many women and men that I have helped through their abuse, incest, and other horrific life events. We are prone to judgment, as humans, and I do feel judged, and I don't feel that you understood the "Intent" of my article. I am actually working on an article about Judgment versus Observation and will have an article released soon on Judgment Versus Love. I share this information with you to give you the opportunity to look inside and heal something, as well as for you to understand me better. Your response is about a lot more than an article, and I embrace the opportunity to share with you. We live in a culture that is surrounded by fear and mistrust. We don't trust those in power because we feel afraid that they are going to exploit us in some way, and putting ideas out there for others to see can give me power in the eyes of others. This is all about the ways we look at power, and my life is about changing the way we all look at power. I see a further potential in this world, but that further potential depends on a personal responsibility to each make our corner of the world a better place. I do want to ask you something. I noticed that your handle is Word Bandit. I have to ask you why you use that handle, given that a bandit is someone that hides behind a mask and steals from others? Why do you feel the need to hide, and what are you trying to steal from others that you do not feel that you have inside of yourself? I have provided this information with my name right out there. Would you have said the same things had your name been on your handle? Do you feel afraid of what people would think of you if they knew your identity? I say this not to attack or incite you, but to ask you to ask yourself these questions. Many bullies hide their true identity, because they feel afraid of the consequences of their actions. Man or woman, many people do the same thing. Inside, many of us hold onto our wounds from childhood, and inside of every bully and rescuer is a victim that just wants to feel loved and some want to also feel strong and end up taking their pain out on others, trying to take something from others. Let me give some background. I work hard to be very balanced, and having grown up being bullied quite a bit, I became a chronic rescuer, sometimes coming to the rescue of those who did not need rescuing, wanting to be seen as Good, Strong, and Right Many times I did not have all the details, and instead made judgments on incomplete information. Instead, I unintentionally bullied others in the name of "The Greater Good". These crusades served no one but me and my ego. In this situation here, I was asked to write an article on girls and bullying, while I was in the process of writing a 7 part blog series on the topic of bullying in general http://blogs.thecutekid.com/doctor-e-child-psychologist/2009/05/26/bully... . I could literally write a book on the topic of bullying, but one of the issues that we run into, as writers today, is brevity. 400-600 words is a common goal to shoot for, and rarely do I make it in that range. I would have loved to go more into detail on some of the very issues you addressed, and think that I did cover some of them. I often have to look at what I have time to explain and expound upon and often end up with a cursory overview of a topic that feels painful to submit sometimes because I know it does not cover all the bases, but people tend to get bored reading long articles these days (Are you still with me? ;-)). I often write multi-part blogs, because there is so much to say, and with all due respect to everyone, I am sorry that this did not come with more explanation of all the issues. Word Bandit, I hope that you are able to see the sincerity of my response to you, and I give you the power to examine my intent in this response. It is, in part, to lick my wounds, and it is also to help you look deeper and heal something. I would welcome a discussion, and if you wish, go to my website www.erikfisher.com and feel free to email me if you want to take this discussion offline out of respect to you. We are all here to help each other to heal and grow. I wish you much peace and success. Erik Fisher, fellow human. Dr. E... is only a name, not the person...