How to keep the vow
Since we started the itakethevow.com website only a few weeks ago, we have had over 3000 people take the vow for nonviolence. A number of questions though have come up on how to keep the vow.
I will try to address some of these questions here:
Q. What does nonviolence in thought and speech mean in everyday situations?
A. It means simply reminding yourself that you have made a commitment and that you have taken this vow. When the situation arises and your tendency is to be reactive, a simple reminder will often prevent you from generating a hostile reaction and by and by you will find yourself creating and calmer more creative response in subsequent situations.
Q. How is the vow supposed to work in difficult or life-threatening situations?
A. In difficult life-threatening situations you must respond instinctually to protect yourself. I would like to give you two personal stories as examples. The first is an incident that occurred when my daughter Mallika was only 6-weeks old. We were living in a tenement apartment in a very poor section of Boston. I was a resident in Internal Medicine at Boston City Hospital. My wife Rita had gone to the grocery store and I was baby-sitting. Mallika was in a little basket next to me and I was reading a medical journal. The doorbell rang and when I opened it a 6’ 11’’man suddenly entered the apartment wielding a baseball bat in his gigantic hands. I let out the loudest scream in my life. It was so piercing and shrill I’m surprised it didn’t shatter all the glass in the place. The baseball bat fell from his hands. Without thought, I instinctively picked it up and hit him in the back. The next thing I knew, he was crumpled on the floor and police sirens were wailing outside. It turns out he had just escaped from prison where he had been incarcerated for multiple murders. The police handcuffed him and took him back to prison. The next day my photo appeared in the local newspaper as a hero.
The second situation occurred only five years ago. After giving a lecture in a Southern city, I was walking back to my hotel through a dark alley behind a theater. Suddenly I found myself surrounded by four male teenagers. One of them had a gun which he held against my head. This time, I remained calm and centered. It had been approximately 30 years since the first encounter with violence and I had been practicing meditation for much of that time. I took out my wallet gave my terrorist “friends” all the cash I had. Then I found myself saying to them “You don’t want to be in prison for murder for just a $150. Will you please allow me to keep my credit cards as they will be of no use to you? If you throw the gun away and run as fast as you can, I promise you I will tell no one about this episode except my wife.” They hesitated, and I said “Please throw the gun away, and run quickly.” The apparent leader of the group then threw his gun away, and they ran off. The next day I went to an ATM and took out $150 to replace the cash. I kept my promise and did not tell anyone but my wife about this episode for 6 months. If you stay connected to your soul the right response will occur as it needs to happen.
Q. When we say "nonviolence," it still contains the word "violence," shouldn't we say take a vow of "peace" instead?
A. The vow of non-violence is a vow of peace. It amounts to the same thing. Whatever language one chooses there are bound to be certain pitfalls associated with it. As we know, people have tried to justify war and violence in the name of peace as well. I see the vow of nonviolence in terms of the Sanskrit word Ahimsa, which is anactive interaction with others and nature on the basis of the spiritual unity which connects us all. So nonviolence is not passive, but active in a nurturing way. Ahimsa describes behavior that respects and supports all who are involved. It assumes a universality the way that the greeting namaste recognizes that the divinity in others is the same as the divinity within us.
When we see, feel and know that consciousness that we are all a part of, then becoming a peacemaker comes naturally, and compassion, joyfulness, and friendliness towards others is just an expression of who we are.
Q. Isn't nonviolence too naïve and impractical of an approach to our complex world?
A. The world is a projection of our collective consciousness. If enough of us are nonviolent, the world will be more peaceful. The psychological frame of “impractical” reflects history of past failures based on limited consciousness, so by its very nature that framing cannot fathom emerging potentialities.
It is the very notion that it is a naïve and impractical idea that prevents us from creating this peaceful reality.
Q. Isn't war and violence built-in to human nature?
A. War and violence is built into human nature. It has been part of the struggle for survival in our evolution. The problem is that when you have the combination of ancient habits of violence and modern technological capacities then you see devastating effects. A handful of people in Mumbai created this devastation recently. We see it everywhere in the world and read about it everyday in the media. Jonas Salk the discoverer and of the polio vaccine, and great evolutionary thinker, said, “ Survival of the fittest must be replaced by survival of the wisest.” He suggested this as the next stage of humanity’s evolutionary growth.
The time has come where we must collectively participate in the next state of evolution from our violent nature into our wise and peaceful nature or else we will not survive.
Q. I'm afraid that taking a vow of nonviolence will mean that people will take advantage of me.
A. You are coming from fear. That is living your life based on the past. Come from love and trust and you will access you real strength and power from where no one can take advantage of you.
Q. What good can come of promising to behave better than your actual ability? Isn't it like priests vowing celibacy, repressing and thereby empowering their shadow side impulses?
A. If you take the vow, you must seriously ask yourself if you are ready for it. Personally, when I took the vow myself, I thought I was ready for it. Having recently come under attack in the media I find myself getting combative and defensive. I observed this response of mine and have tried to use that insight to understand myself better and thereby strengthen and mature my nonviolent behavior.
When I look deeper into my heart , I find no malice or hostility toward my attackers. I did experience anger, expressed it, and then let it pass, reminding myself that I had taken the vow. Anger as an natural expression (as long as you don’t cause physical harm) can sometimes be a healthy emotion, and repressing or denying it only distorts the normal human response. It is important to find a healthy, creative and constructive outlet for emotions.
There is a difference between anger and hostility. Hostility is when you seek vengeance and want to maliciously hurt another person. It is now known to be the number one emotional risk factor for premature death from cardiovascular accidents such as heart attack and stroke.
In summary, do not commit to the vow if you seriously think that you cannot observe any aspect of it. On the other hand if you feel ready for the next stage of evolution then take the vow and do what comes to you most naturally, while remembering that you did take the vow. This isn’t meant to be grim, life or death oath to bind your soul to. It is intended to be a expression of the emerging truth of you real Self, so have fun, laugh, and be light-hearted about it at the same time. You are right that repression and suppression are definitely pathological and can perpetuate violence. This vow is certainly not about squashing healthy emotions to try to live some imaginary spiritual ideal. Be easy, stay conscious and enjoy life.
Q. I like the idea of making nonviolence a guiding principle in my life, but I am vow-phobic. Can I participate in being a part of this global effort without having to make a formal vow?
A. Even if you aren’t comfortable taking the vow formally but are dedicated to nonviolence, then you are still participating in this global effort on the level of your consciousness, and that of course is the most powerful contribution we can make. Feel free to participate in whatever way that feels right to you. Some affirm their intention without saying the word “vow” others feel better using the word “peace,” some just like saying “I am” as their way of participating in this collective shift in global consciousness. So find whatever way joining the effort that resonates with you.
Q. What is it about stating one's intentions explicitly by taking a vow that is supposed help actualize nonviolent behavior?
A. By stating the vow of nonviolence explicitly and asking those who are close to you to remind you when you are deviating from those principles of nonviolence, accelerates the process of evolution. Recently when I found myself being combative as a result of the personal attacks in the Wall Street Journal , my wife and children kept reminding me I had taken the vow. I found that very useful in mitigating my aggressive tendencies.
Q. Do I have to be vegetarian to take the vow?
A. We are all part of the food chain. The Upanishads say “ We are tomorrows food.” Eating habits are based on culture, geography and influenced by religion. It is well know that if you give only vegetarian food to indigenous Inuit people, who have survived for eons on whale blubber, you will quickly see the deleterious effects of switching to a vegetarian diet. They become uncharacteristically ill-tempered, their teeth decay, and the incidence of heart attacks increases dramatically. Another study published in Lancet years ago showed that when people were forced to switch to a vegetarian diet because they had high risk factors for heart disease, but were not prepared emotionally and psychologically for the change, their rate of heart attacks actually increased rather than decreased.
In general, it is obvious that a vegetarian diet is healthier, it is better for ecology, and less violent on life as a whole. However, what is best for us as an individual cannot be dictated by general principles or statistics. You must do what you are emotionally and psychologically prepared to do. Childhood habits that are culturally ingrained can be difficult to break, and their impact cannot always be overridden by will power, nor from a health standpoint should they necessarily be overridden. Find the path that works best for you. Being a non-vegetarian should not prevent you from taking the vow.
Love,
Deepak
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This is awesome action Deepak! Love it! Spread peace!
Patricia
wow. stunningly lucid.
thank you for the great distinctions on anger/hostility, etc.
time to twitter it. :)
-bri
Deepak,
Thanks for answering these questions for others and myself. Especially about the food chain. Ojibwa natives explain how they deal with the experience of having to take life to sustain life. It is truly profound how the native American and Canadian First Nation people really had it right a long time ago. It is sad that their way of life was changed by settlers. I have learned alot from the First Nation people and I hope everyone would learn from their ways also. We are all still part of the food chain. I don't need to swim near a coral reef with a paper cut to find that out though lol. I do however regret that as a collective we are mistreating animals on this planet. With this vow, as a collective that will change.
Thanks again Deepak
Peace
Stu
And love to you Deepak and all those here...
I love you Deepak and I'm happy to have somebody like you who gives us the hope of a best world for our children.
THANKS AND LOVE
Jocelyne
... what can I say!!!! Thank you very much for your words!! They are very helpful and full of sense and Love!! Be blessed, keep blessed.
From my spirit to yours!!
Carlos
Deepak,
I love you and I can't thank you enough for all your words of wisdom. It makes navigating our "planet earth" a little easier. I feel more peaceful and calmer now that I have taken the vow and I am more aware of my divinity. We can make a difference with our peaceful thoughts and attitudes.
Peace and love to you and all,
Patty
With all due respect, Deepak,
Again, at the risk of redundancy, law of attraction is action based, therefore if you tell the universe NO to something, it will respond. So if I say I don't want cancer, NO CANCER, it puts cancer in my vibration, therefore creating what I don't want, which is cancer. Instead, I focus on health, therefore, creating health.
My argument in non violence is that even with the word NON in front of it, the universe is responding to the word violence. Not to mention the images it conjures up in one's mind, and the vibration of the word as well is less than. Why use it when we can use the word peace? I understand there are terrorist acts of violence in the name of peace, HOWEVER, the people that use that ideology are typically NOT the ones who are going to be compelled to take the vow in the first place so that argument doesn't really work logically.
Let's tell the universe what we do want, which is PEACE. That is the result we are looking for, so why not get it exactly right and be concise?
I've been accused of having to be "right" about this, and that couldn't be further from the truth. In essence, we are going to have 100 million+ people taking this vow, and creating a powerful synergy, so let's make sure it creates exactly what we want (peace) without taking any chances. This vow is my passion and my intention is to heal the planet by expanding consciousness. This consciousness expansion is going straight to the source, and when we are able to do this, all the world's ills will fall away. This is one important vow so let's not screw it up...lol. I go into this in more detail on some of my blogs.
Have a beautiful day and walk in peace, love, and light.
Namaste,
Krissy
Dear Deepak,
I would ask all those that have taken the vow.
I wonder have you divested yourself of investments in that which commits passive violence. For example those that profit from fear, disease, environmental imbalance, or oil?
Are you earning interest on any money? This is a source of passive violence making money from money.
Have you returned or donated any money made from stock market fluctuations (Gambling) or that came from investments in the disease or fear industry?
If not you have already broken your vow and failed.
I didn't take that vow, non-violence is my dominant nature. I do think it is a good project helping to create awareness that violence is more than just a physical expression.
If the lioness were to take the vow her cubs would be consumed. The lioness protecting her cubs does not act from fear, or hate, but from compassion.
It is not what you do, but the source of the impetus for what you do that has bearing.
Does one choose love or fear ?
A vow not to not to act on fear thoughts is a challenge fit for a God.
I AM reminded of the dialog from Infinite Play.
The apprentice is talking with the master.
■ Apprentice: If I am God then why do I have so many problems?
☺ Master: You don't act like God.
■ Apprentice: How does God act?
☺ Master: God doesn't act on fear thoughts, God has nothing to fear.
■ Apprentice: So if I stop acting on fear thoughts all my problems will go away?
☺ Master: No, but you will transform them with miracles.
~Infinite Play
If today every being on the planet chose to act on a love thought which implies one body, omnipotence and reality and resolved to not act on the fear thoughts which implies separation, impotence and illusion, the world would be transformed into a paradise.
I do agree that no matter what words are used the intention is the same.
If a known thief comes to my house and I send him away I have acted on a fear thought. If I invite him in I have acted on a love thought, and the thief will be transformed, for it was acting on fear thoughts that created the thief; the fear of lack and the illusion of scarcity in others.
It's not so easy is it? Requiring absolute trust and knowing of the all pervading which some might call faith.
Greetings Deepak!
I took your vow a week ago when I joined the site.
Non Violence in thought, SPEECH and action....the reason I capitalized speech is because I broke the vow.
Here's what happened.
A few weeks ago I got hired by a fan of mine to do a modeling shoot with her, she's a great women, very generous, and kind with a joyous spirit. She wanted me to direct the shoot...the concept and help with a photographer, stylist etc..
I asked a friend if he would style the shoot and he agreed...the photo's came out awesome...BUT...Long story made short, he basically stole $1,800 from her and this infuriated me!
I called him, used a tactic of violence in order for him to repay her.
I call it a tactic because I had no intention of doing the violent things I told him, I was just scaring him to give her the money back.
Then after I hung up the phone I realized that I broke the vow!:)
I called him back and told him, "I'm sorry and it's not in my spirit to hurt him and I just want him in God's name, to clear it up and whatever that means to you...in your heart please make it right" and he said ok.
Thank you Deepak, this means so much in so many ways.
Love,
Taimak